What do I want? Simple enough of a question, yet so very difficult to answer.
I haven't considered my wants for some time now. My main focus was to meet the needs of others. I have to say that I don't feel that anything is wrong with that. I will eventually figure it all out.
What I do know is what stands to reason and makes good sense.
I would love nothing more than to live near water and be surrounded by mountains everywhere I look. The smell of salt in the air amongst overcast skies. Feeling a breeze against my face. However, moving nearly 2,000 miles away is not only impractical but also highly improbable and comes with a ginormous price tag. The fact is that I'm incapable of accommodating those circumstances now and it's highly unlikely that I'd be able to in the future as I don't have the means to do so.
Also, as much as I'd love to move as far away from my current location, that's not necessarily the most realistic option.
The thought of being close to progressive thinkers and people who open their minds to other points of view is very attractive.
I've been asked if I'd move solely for someone else. I am naturally drawn to the idea. However, someone who has been a very good friend to me, recently encouraged me to only do things that are right for me and to never do something for the sole purpose of pleasing someone else. Of course this was meaning within certain contexts.
I then pondered the option of staying in the confines of my state. I originally felt very enthusiastic with that idea and decided to pursue it. Financially, it makes perfect sense. Culturally it opens up new opportunities and provides an environment more conducive to my nature.
After days of investigative research, I really fell in love with the idea.
However, it's been several weeks and the apartment hunt has grown cold. I'm a bit disappointed, well actually very much so. I wasn't expecting it to be so hard to find vacancies within my budget.
I'd originally planned to transfer with my current employer. Yet, that is progressing as it was promised.
So, now I'm back at square one, sorta.
With my landlord flip flopping on the date in which I need to be out, I may be able to wait longer than I'd first anticipated. I could have up to a year from now or less than 6 months, lol. What a nice circumstance.
At this point all I can really do is rely on my strength and perseverance. It's gotten me through alot and it's all I've ever had.
Time for some yoga, it's very helpful and calms my soul.

Last edited on 6/30/2020 6:52 PM by Jman77
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