Can I defeat Captain America?
KNOWN SUPERHUMAN POWERS: Captain America has agility,strength, speed, endurance, and reaction time superior to any Olympic athlete who ever competed. The Super-Soldier formula that he has metabolized has enhanced all his bodily functions to the peak of human efficiency.
However, he has not met me, masked FAT LYCRA STUD with super fat powers and agility to out whit any super hero. My special power is called gut freeze. I can hold a super human like Captain America against a wall using only my gut. This leaves my hands and legs free to do what I want to him….. and I want to do a lot!
Captain America has the city citizens all behaving perfectly. Last week, he single handily defeated 10 of my guys in tight black lycra. To make me angrier and more frustrated he videoed it. The footage played night after night on the news and he was awarded another hero badge. Everyone loves him and loved seeing him toy with my men. He beat them easily like a cat playing with a mouse – make then ten mice.
The fight went on for over half an hour as he played with my men. He seemed to drag it out and really enjoy himself to my anger. My men were utterly humiliated although tough and experienced, were easily defeated. At one stage he held a man against the wall with his fist, right in this throat causing choking agony. Poor bugger as he begged Captain America to let him go. One leg stood balancing on another man’s fat gut on the ground, while using his other leg used to karate kick the other 8 guys around effortlessly in their faces repeatedly. The bastard frustrates the hell out of me.
He ended up in a ten man choke hold, 4 between his strong muscly legs staggered down from his insane tight thighs strapped in blue lycra, knees, calves to his ankles. The other six, well lets just say Captain Americas arm strength held them all together and repeatedly knocked their heads on a nearby wall. He looked into the camera and said, “My my, I haven’t even broken a sweat yet”. My men between his legs all had their arms wrapped around whatever they could grab. But to no avail and Captain America simply said to them…. “Enjoying the view boys?”
Then to frustrate me more, He picked one of my men up by his nose and lifted him in the air as he came closer to the lens of his camera. I could see Captain Americas bicep bulging through is lycra costume and had a smirk on his handsome face. He held my man up struggling and kicking with pain to the camera and he said – “I know these are your men Fat Lycra Stud. Come and get them if you dare?”
YOU BASTARD CAPTAIN AMERICA………. I’M COMING FOR YOU WITH ALL MY POWERFUL FAT!