lighthouseguy's blog


Something new?

There are so many wonderful blogs on here, and great stories in the section for that. How can I possibly come up with something that hasn't already been posted? Every wrestling hold has been dissected and described to perfection, from armbars to the zoo toss. Armbars you all know, the zoo toss is a bit more obscure. You force your opponent to submit by threatening to do what zoo monkeys are prone to do if they are feeling playful and people are too close to their enclosure. So a wrestling tutorial is out. Descriptions of actual fights, or fantasy fights? All the obvious asskicking scenarios have been taken. I thought I might have an idea for a fantasy scene, but I searched and there are already multiple forced self-deep-throating descriptions. When I was 9 or 10 and my mother tried to talk me into taking gymnastics, maybe I should have agreed. There are some VERY flexible guys on this site, and/or in the imaginations of guys on it.

I thought about non-wrestling posts. I have mixed feelings about off-topic stuff. Our friend who was granted political asylum when he fled Esperanto to avoid prosecution for alleged misconduct with dangling participles gets criticized for that. Maybe I could do 20 pages on noble gas elements that won't bond with other atoms on Earth but might do so in space, and end it with me beating the shit out of a lab technician who stained my favorite lab coat when he sneezed in my direction with a mouthful of Subway un-tuna. Or I could discuss how public officers have two categories of duties, ministerial duties and discretionary duties. A constitutional provision or statute that says an officer "shall" do something means he has no choice. He must do what's called for. Discretionary duties are functions in the exercise of which the officer has a choice. Those duties are are described in constitutions and laws as things the officer may, can, or will do. I could say that since the United States Constitution states that the Vice President "shall" open and count electoral votes, that's all he can do, he can't mess with the result for any reason. That would generate challenges for mortal combat for sure. But although I get horny occasionally, I have no desire to confront irate horn wearing persons.

There are some interesting posts on how guys first learned they are sexually aroused by fighting. That's clearly a developmental thing. Children only slap fight up to a certain age. For most males and some females, that changes. The slapping is replaced by forward thrusts of the hand with the fingers balled up tightly. There's controversy about the proper position of the thumb but the prevailing wisdom is to keep it outside the fingers rather than tucked within them. Why do some males never make that transition, and why do some females make it? That could be a worthwhile topic. Let's see ... I could call it "Why We Fist."

Hmmm..... okay. Here's something that is less controversial, and easy to contribute to for those so inclined. What was the reaction of your parent[s] or guardian[s] the first time they observed visible evidence you had been in a fight? I can't remember, so I'll have to make something up. I grew up in New Jersey, so my first fight probably was due to baby carriage rage. Yeah, it's coming back to me now. Mine and some wise ass punk's collided in a park when the pushing parents were preoccupied with opening fresh 40s. I was grateful my favorite uncle Bruno had given me a spiked rattle for Christmas, I laid a major beatdown on the wimp in the other carriage, who flailed at me with a frilly one. My mom's reaction was "Good job but go for the balls next time, that's how I end fights with your father." Today of course we would have tried to cap each other, or at least tried to pull down each other's onsie, take pics, and post them on Twitter under the caption "You'll need a magnifying glass to see anything in this pic." #microcock

Last edited on 7/16/2021 10:30 PM by lighthouseguy; 1 comment(s)



I know being respectful of others is critical on sites like this. Everyone is weird to some degree, and we should tolerate each other's little armadillos. Uh may have the wrong word there, sorry. But you get the idea. Play nice, be respectful.

Having said that, a little lighthearted stroll along Weirdness Lane isn't harmful, is it? On the older site for alternative wrestling, Globalfight, seeing one amusing entry led me to do a keyword search. A guy wanted to "wrestle for steaks." The search found around a half dozen similar entries. I know a loser buys dinner challenge might make sense. But the interests outlined in the profiles strongly suggested the intent was that the loser would be well done, without an assist from a chef.

A guy wanted to do a brother versus brother match with me. Sounded good, until he said we needed to become blood brothers first, by cutting a finger a little and exchanging blood. I decided to remain an only child.

The times I was asked if I would ride a guy like a horse or a pig (think Deliverance - the movie, not the theological concept) didn't surprise me. But riding a guy like a turtle, super slowly? That request produced a disturbing mental image, with the part of the turtle head going in and out of the shell being played by an uncircumcised penis. I passed on terrapin pinning.

I get the almost infinite variety of gear possibilities, including the bizarre requests, with one exception. Nude except for a Hawaiian lei. That match didn't happen so I didn't get lei-ed.

A little online trash talking is great fun. But one guy went from "make you tap out" to "I'll unscrew the motel lamp light bulb and shove it up your ass, then squeeze your ass cheeks until it breaks." That seemed way too well thought out in advance.

I guess the conclusion here is that it's always okay to ask a possible opponent if a particular behavior would be acceptable, as long as the person asking does not respond to rejection with rudeness.

Last edited on 7/13/2021 5:27 AM by lighthouseguy; 11 comment(s)