hephaestion2014's blog

Exactly! Good blog.

I didn't even know this was a thing. I always ask about erotic wrestling. Never about the guy's sexual preference.

This guy speaks sense - it also seems only polite to ask.

His profile states "must be appealing to me", that has to give people a clue.

My main bug bear is wrestling vegan's!!!!!!

I mean how am I supposed to know without asking?

Just because I'm a fat bloke will I always want to just wrestle fat blokes, I don't think so.

Good blog pal but don't we do this issue to death, if 2 people fancy each other great. Just leave me out of that.

Well my point was that it doesn't matter who I am attracted to, if I don't eat meat or even who I vote for as that has nothing to do with a wrestling match.

But what I expect from that wrestling match does... asking me if I'm gay or not doesn't enlighten my intentions.

I'm not saying fat blokes like me should only wrestle other fat blokes or that straight wrestlers should stick to "their own kind" - that's the opposite of what I believe, and practice.

I am just saying I wish "being gay" didn't become synonymous with "up for erotic wrestling".

When I was briefly dating someone, so out of respect any erotic was out, but I could still wrestle ... the amount of rudeness/abruptness you'd get when you said you would not do erotic.

"You sure you're not straight?"

And now I'm free, free at last, there's some people I'd happily enjoy -just- wrestling and beating (like yourself ;)) and some others who I might enjoy the odd bit of naughtiness with. But unless erotic was raised, I'd never assume that's what they wanted.

I guess it was just a little rant.

I guess I was trying to suggest a way of people not making the same assumptions.

I'm on your side.

You make an excellent point.

So are you a meat eater?

Wrestle you again mate whenever you are ready.

You only have to look at my profile pictures to see that I don't exist on a diet of mung beans, soya and hummus ; -)

I'm going to treat myself to a week up in Manchester mid April time, hopefully can sort something then :-)

Excellent! I fully agree because most of the time it is so much more interesting to find out in the course of the friendly bout what will happen !

Great blog buddy!!! I need to say that as a straight guy, I almost prefer wrestling non straight guys. I've been in more compromising positions with "straight" guys than I have with gay/bi guys. To me orientation means nothing. I just care that you have a great personality and are respectful of limits.

Gay men of my generation were very casual about sex. Many of us engaged in sex because it was convenient and we had nothing else to do. (Not our finest hour, Haha!) That fell from favor long, long ago. But my point is, part of the issue may be a generational hold-over from an era long gone.

As you pointed out, there is a mile-wide chasm between "are you gay" and "are you looking for an erotic match." It would be nice to be so black-and-white about sexual attraction that I could know that in advance. Unfortunately for me, magnetism is an experiential thing that I can't predict by looking at a picture. I'm attracted to men's behavior in the ring. I wish I could tell them yes or no in advance. But that's not possible. So, I just say "no" all the time.

Whether or not they prefer girls over guys in their life partner selection means little as to what type of wrestling they are into. I have wrestled gay men who are strict wrestling and "married" men who basically say "anything goes". It's always best to be up front with each other before you begin wrestling. Sometimes you just need to engage in the wrestling and see what each other is comfortable with.

DEFINATELY on board with you there hephaestion, good blog and good points. Nothing wrong with asking if erotic can be mixed in, so long as it is not assumed and one fighter is put in an uncomfortable position in a match.

I personally much prefer a straight up good and (controlled) aggressive match, i don't get the hump if others ask me if there is wriggle room to fit in erotic, so long as they respect when i say no, and do not assume without asking first.

Thanks for the interesting read, looking forward to yer next one!

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am always genuinely surprised that anyone reads these, let alone replies. Really appreciate it.

There's been some good points raised. Particularly about how maybe I am a bit black and white in my thinking. I guess magnetism can come into it. I'm more of a head over heart type of guy. Perhaps I should work on that.

I don't want to give off the impression that I'm an angel and don't do erotic matches, but it's become less my focus and really just enjoy the wrestling more. All of my matches have been good, but when I know that erotic is out, it feels different. I concentrate more on skills, or lack of them. I get a different buzz and actually can be more aggressive. Less distracted.

I guess I'm flexible. That's why I'd rather people would ask about erotic and not assume based on who I may or may not like in my bed ;-)

I'd happily wrestle anyone. But that doesn't mean I'd "wrestle" with everyone.