hephaestion2014's blog

So I will be going to my first ever Grapevine meet this Saturday, and I'm a little nervous.

Now why would that be? I have attended many group meets at Barnet and an OWG meet at Pippas before. If I'm honest, I get nervous before each meet. I guess I am not a natural people person, and am aware that if I get shy ill end up being all quiet or stammer and stutter a lot. But that's manageable, ill burn in shame after about my social awkwardness later. That's usual.

So why all these butterflies about grapevine? I guess it goes back to 1999/2000ish and surfing the net back then and coming across references to Grapevine (and SPFWC too ) These seemed like magical perhaps if I was being pretentious, whatdoya mean "if"?, almost holy places. I never made that leap back then and joined. Only read about them, imagined them and thought "what if/if only" ... So perhaps that's it.

Maybe.

I have also been looking at the names of other wrestlers who might be going. These are people whose profiles and recommendations are amazing. Whose reputations as being good wrestlers precede them. I suppose the less brave part of me hopes they'll already be busy with matches and have no time to take me on but have to admit there is also a part of me that hopes I might get the odd match with one or two. I just hope that if that happens I do okay.

I guess that's where the nerves are coming from. Its pressure that I am putting on myself. I guess I am my own worst opponent.

Funnily enough writing this down has kind of alleviated the butterflies a bit.

Even with the nerves, am really looking forward to Saturday

Had a great group meet. Kind of felt that I had turned a corner.

Did I get lots of taps and win every match, avoid lots of mistakes and become King of the mats?

Nope. Made some silly mistakes, tapped a fair few times and was pleased when at the end of a round that I had survived by not submitting.

So where's that corner that I am supposedly meant to have turned?

Normally at a group meet, in each match, if I did get the opportunity to be on top, id have been lost and tried to stay in defence.

Not this time. Yes, I made mistakes and ended up in armlocks etc, but because I was trying to do something new. I was on the attack :)

That sounds like probably a silly thing to say. I know a lot of you are all on the attack from the beginning. I haven't been. I have not been that comfortable or confident. Not this time. Okay, I suffered for it as left myself open for attacks but that's because I wasn't trying to maintain that deadlock of defence.

The good thing about group meets is that there are always lots of different levels, different skills and different ways to wrestle. Particularly at Barnet, there are lots of guys who are very experienced and learned, so when they say that you are doing better or you have learnt some stuff, actually my chest puffed up a bit with pride.

I guess, I hope that in maybe at some point in the future, ill never be as wise as them but hopefully ill have some knowledge and tips to impart to some newbie and make them feel as welcome down the path of wrestling as I have.

Right, now off to soak in a hot bath. The glorious aches :)

(Also had some great advice from Small Gladiator: Don't talk yourself down.

A lot of the guys I have met have had training in martial arts or combat sports, have lessons and do it far more regularly then I do. Each meet, each match is a lesson for me. So I need to stop comparing myself unfairly and unflatteringly against others and be proud in what I can do. )

Now I know I am forever carping on here about things but have to write and share about what a good time I had at the OWG meet.

Now, I have to admit I was a bit nervous. And I knew it was silly, as although I had not met many of the guys attending, but knew from chatting with them on here in the past, and from reputationsi too, I knew that they were all sound guys.

But there's always that fear of rejection. You'll turn up at the group meet and no-one will want to wrestle you. A bit like picking teams at school, and you are the last one left. I guess a lot of us have this fear.

occasionally, you'll come across a guy at a group meet who doesn't want to wrestle you. And that's fine. All good. It is their right to choose who they want to take on. Am sure if we were all faced with a guy we didn't want to wrestle, we'd all want the right to say no. But that said, we should all worry about those who say yes, more than say no ... But I guess that isn't human nature.

Well long digression aside, at the OWG meet that didn't happen. Think I wrestled everyone except for the odd one or two where the timing never coincided. And that to me is something that will be righted next time. ( Matworker, you and me wrestle early as poss, especially as I have observed your only weakness ;) )

Everyone was really friendly. Got to wrestle with a wrestling legend, and of course all the other guys who were there, who are wrestling legends too. Enjoyed every single match, and if time and my body had been willing, I'd have wrestled with everyone again and again. Never zonked out on a crash mat before.

Just feel guilty in one match that I had towards the end that I wasn't quite as feisty as I usually am, and fear I wrestled like a rootbeer drinker not even a shandy drinker ;)

I learnt some new tips, and tricks. Some that I have remembered even now, and look forward to get trying them out again. So beware.

Though think I will just stay in a hot bath all of tomorrow. Wrestled, fought more today than I probably had all year :)

Glad I went, met many opponents who id like a round two, three.four and five with ... :)

"You went too easy on him ...You are still holding back"

A lot of people when they talk about how they got into wrestling will often speak about how they play fought with their friends/brothers/cousins as kids. Playful rough housing on a quiet day ...

That wasn't my experience. Had an older brother, no cousins and to be honest the fights that I had as a kid werent playful. They were real "you and me after school on the fields" type thing where we would both be out to hurt each other ... Something about my face seems to make people want to punch it :)

Now what does this have to do with wrestling now, and what's the problem?

The aggressive drive. I am only used to being aggressive with people I don't like. A couple of people have commented that when I wrestle I don't fully go for the guy. And when I was first told this, my response confused me ... Well, I liked them, why would I "go for them"?

That's where I guess some of my problems lay. I don't have that foundation of friendly competition.

The measured aggression.

Don't get me wrong, it is in there. Yank my arm too hard after I have tapped, cross a physical line with me or get me angry, actually don't get me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry ;) and its there.

If you are coming at me, I'm perfectly happy to fight you right back.

But often, aside of the odd bit of trash talk, most if not all the guys I have wrestled I have been friendly with. Some I consider even friends. Which is why I find myself probably going gentler on them, although some people think this means I should go harder.

And these people are the ones who play fought with friends.

Not sure that I will ever cure this. And probably explains why my ultimate wrestling fantasy would be a scrap with a guy I had real personal animus with...

Well was up in Blackpool for a stag weekend. Had a great time, had lots of fun.

Looking round my B&B room, bunkbeds, small as a broom cupboard and above reception, it made me realise how lucky as a guy who can't host, we are that we have all these matrooms in this country. And of course, those chain hotels.

Hotel matches are always a good compromise when you can't access a matroom. Its a convenience. Now this isn't to say I don't enjoy hotel matches. Have had a lot of good matches in a hotel room. But I know with more space, (There's nothing more annoying then rolling off the mattress when you have your opponent in a killer hold and have to break) and not having to worry about the noise levels and furniture, the good matches would have been even tougher.

When I first joined this site and people said to me, "I don't do hotel meets only matrooms." I thought they were just being fussy, now I know where they are coming from. I would never rule out a hotel match and know I will have many more as you can have a great match in a hotel room, and the more I have done, the more tips I pick up on how to make it better. But I would also always pick a matroom over a hotel room.

So I guess I would say that I guess we all should appreciate how lucky we all are in the UK to have a choice of matrooms/rings.

PS: The Blackpool trip?

I didn't get any wrestling because the space just wasn't right.

Plus the strength of my hangovers each morning would have made me a very weak opponent. :-)