hephaestion2014's blog

Two recent events have brought home a truth.
I live a fairly busy life and juggle a fair few responsibilities- so sometimes have to not attend meets or delay meeting people.

But I tell myself- there'll be another time. If I can't do this week, there'll be another time.

Sadly a wrestler has recently passed, and I never got the rematch. I didn't get up to the group meets last year, but told myself there'll be another time. And now there isn't. The message talking about how much I was looking forward to locking up again will go unread.

Plus not on the same scale of seriousness, there was a wrestler up in Edinburgh who I've been gagging to fight ever since we started talking. Our paths criss crossed a lot. There was a time we could have met, but due to a less than 100% foot, I didn't take it. Because I was sure there'd be another time.

That other time is gone now. They've deleted and we've never had that fight either.

So dont assume you'll have another time. Don't put things off or refuse opportunities because you think they'll arise again.

They might not- and you'll just have regrets.

Heard from a previous opponent who I missed, and inspired the previous blog.

He asked me to pass on a few words.

" We all have different reasons for wrestling and indeed for stopping. No offence is ever meant by someone stopping being in your opponent list, it's just a natural outcome of them making a decision.

I have tried to leave the site a couple of times and been persuaded not to by someone at the last minute.

That is the reason there were no goodbyes this time. Just a harsh deletion was the way to do it.

I'm really gonna miss you guys.

I had masses of fun and battles with people from around the UK and even the world while being on MF so I owe a massive thank you to each and everyone of my past opponents.

I won't mention all 90 opponents (due to my age I can't remember every name anyway) .

To name a few:

Ed - London the man with Speedos in his briefcase!
Neil - my first opponent
Craig - Oz 😁
Stephen - Scotland but English
Dan - Norway
Dan - upt' North
Jon - shandy land
John - 1953
John - Young Scot
Simon - pie eater
Gary - persistent one
Dave - David
Alec - BJJ God
Gareth - my last opponent

I WILL miss wrestling so will be looking to join a club in the new year and may even attend the occasional Manchester meet. Hopefully some of you may be there!

The friendships we made are something I will always hold dear even if contact since I left MF is limited.

Remember nothing is ever as black and white as we think, dependent on your stand point it is simply another shade of grey.

Have a great Christmas and a brilliant 2019.

All the best
Vanman

And I personally wish him all the best, and understand his going and thank him for the battles.

I genuinely think it was because he was scared I'd beat him the next time. Kidding!

I'll raise a half a shandy to you!

Man. It feels like Thanos has snapped his fingers as another one drops off my favourites and past opponent list.

Ut's always sad when a profile of a former opponent vanishes.

Not because of the number thing ... It's just that I've always enjoyed the company of the people I've wrestled. Both on and off the mats. The random chats. The banter messages or even just checking in with each other if either has been silent.

When they've gone. That's kind of it. Profile deleted. End of story. There's plenty of good reasons to go. Life changes and moves on. It's just saying goodbye to people suck.

I'm guessing they'll be back on one day. Sending them all the best thoughts till they come back.

So the idea was floated. I agreed and then came the hassle of comparing diaries and calendars. Admittedly heat did stop play on one day. I don't do especially well in the heat. I'm built for Nordic countries, seeing off viking jobber hoards whilst shirtless in the snow. And I'll still be complaining about the heat.

But finally a time was agreed upon and sorted. It's a strange feeling I get in my stomach when a match is arranged. At first it's just a distant event that I need to get ready for but as it gets closer it intensifies. Remember at school when you'd get that challenge to fight after school. "Playing fields at half three" and how that would sit with you all day. I guess how you felt probably says a bit about your character. I'm guessing a lot of you are confident enough in your fighting skills to be excited about such a challenge. Others would be more scared. I sat in between. Not scared. More nervous. Let me do not that badly. Let me at least get a few good hits in. Let me not be too embarrassed. Or injured. Especially this beautiful face lol

That feeling had been sitting in my gut all day before this fight. I was also nervous/excited because I didn't know what I was facing. Now I know when I meet anyone from here that they are strangers too.

But there are a lot of cues you can take from the profile even just from the photo of the body type, the recommendations and even the profile itself. Oh. A jobber who fights back? A heel who likes chokeholds? Etc etc.

So now im sat on the bus going to my mates house trying to imagine all possibilities. And I'm looking around the bus.

If you go to the group meets in this country, I'm thinking of both the High Barnet and Pippa ones, you'll often be meeting new people there. Strangers. I'm not saying both locations are that out of the way, but I often play a game with myself when I'm sat on the tube or tram ... can you spot another wrestler?

The Northern Line tube tends to empty round Highgate so it gets easier. Sometimes. The same with Holt Town, if they are getting off there and carrying a sports bag ... maybe just maybe.

So it crosses my mind, maybe the guy is on the bus? Looking around I try to work out if there is anyone on that I wouldn't want to lock up with. There is a bodybuilder type at the back sweating in a muscle tee and tapout shorts manspreading on the back seat. I'm not a huge fan of the over muscled type so he'd be the worst option but I still wouldn't say no to a match. My eye passes over a few other guys on the bus. There was a guy getting on a stop after me who had a similar if not better build then me. Let's say dadbod prime . Bit younger than me but very nice square shoulders. That would be a good match. My mind wanders till I see the church which means I need to get off. (Trivia note- the church used in the tv series Keeping Up Appearances, people!)

So off I get. Bodybuilder gets off. Square shoulders gets off too. It's a busy bus stop. It means nothing.
I then walk towards my mates.

I get there. No square shoulders behind me. No bodybuilder too.

I'm greeted by my mate who tells me that my opponent is here already and getting ready in the other room. So do I want to meet him now or get changed in the bathroom and see him for the first time on the mats? I choose the later. In for a penny in for a pound. Turns out I do like surprises.

So square cuts on. Let's go meet my opponent.

I see immediately why my friend chose this guy for me. Same height. Probably a little heavierr and a bit more toned. What I would look like if I could wrestle everyday rather than be depressed by the boredom of the gym and avoiding it. We shake hands. Not even sure that we've exchanged names at this point.

My mate says, "And wrestle? Ding ding!"

So off we go. And it was great.

We are learning about each other as we are wrestling. Both of us cautious at first. Not sure how hard to go on the other. I don't want to break him and vice versa. There's a smile when I gently apply an armlock which broadens as I apply more and more force to it. One point he headbutts my gut to try to break a hold. He apologies as he's not sure if he's crossed a line. I said it's okay and we both relax a bit more and get a lot rougher. Its a great match. I don't feel as free as I thought I would. I can't escape who I am and turn into a really rough yob, but being freed from expectations and assumptions means I can see a new part of myself on the mats.

It was a great match. We're going to have a rematch again. Think my mate enjoyed watching the two of us fight as well. If only because he says he learnt what not to do when watching us lol

I'm glad I said yes.